THE COOTIE FROM ANDROMEDA
"I was over at the airport just the other day
When I saw a little cootie crawling on the run-way.
I said 'Mr.Cootie, may I give you a hand?'
He said 'That would be lovely, you're kind for a man...
I've come from Andromeda, it's a bit of a strain,
My mission to Mars was all in vain
When my craft was side-swiped by Elon's satellite,
Forcing my landing in New Zealand tonight.
Take me to your leader. That's what you could do...'
But Orange was busy, and Scomo, too...
So I took him to Jacinda thinking she'd understand
This microbial being from a distant land..."
When I saw a little cootie crawling on the run-way.
I said 'Mr.Cootie, may I give you a hand?'
He said 'That would be lovely, you're kind for a man...
I've come from Andromeda, it's a bit of a strain,
My mission to Mars was all in vain
When my craft was side-swiped by Elon's satellite,
Forcing my landing in New Zealand tonight.
Take me to your leader. That's what you could do...'
But Orange was busy, and Scomo, too...
So I took him to Jacinda thinking she'd understand
This microbial being from a distant land..."
"Now Bill and Jacinda were already seated, and
Mr. Cootie was handsomely greeted,
With a mask and some spray and some hand-sanitizer,
The mask from Monsanto and the spray from Pfizer.
"By Jove" said Jacinda, "you've no hands but six feet...
Some foot disinfectant and you'll be sweet..."
"And a jab from my vax, to make sure you stay well,
You won't feel a thing, and it probably won't swell...
The Pope's coming soon, we must confess,
We'll hand out some towels, it could be a mess!
'Don't Covid thy neighbour's wife', he said,
'And if you don't take the jab you're as good as dead!'
Bill rose from his chair, oozing ecto-chagrin,
"Mr. Cootie, Jacinda, now let us begin...
It's come to our attention that you're not from here,
Mr. Cootie, your home, is it far or near?"
"I come from a planet, a star far away,
In a distant galaxy like your Milky Way.
A world of oceans and whales, and guess what?
You call her Andromeda, but the strain I am not."
But they'd seen the movie and read the book,
And hypochondriacally started feeling quite crook.
Jacinda said 'Let's impose a lock-down',
And Bill said "Let's pass the vax-jabs around!"
"Now hold it right there! Let me give you the facts.
I guess you should know I'm the Son of Lorax.
My dear darling dad came to Earth long ago
A Truffula-tree perma-culture forest to grow...
But Gates clan ancestors chopped them all down but one,
Left to try to survive in the hot desert sun.
Like my dad, they're from Thalion in the Arcturan system,
And when they were gone all the folks really missed 'em!
We've no chip on our shoulders, nor axes to grind.
Au contraire, we're forgiving, and besides you will find
That the steps we have taken since our Truffula demise
Have helped to make Mother Earth healthy and wise.
Wealthy's for you, if you know what I mean.
Your philanthrogenics has yet to be seen
To be anything more than a global blight,
A rich-man's conspiracy-parasite.
I'll pass on the jab, but thanks just the same.
As you may suspect, I'm aware of your game.
My dad taught me well, and his Truffula-love
Lives on through me, yes, I've come from above.
My craft was shot down by Elon's space probe,
And a neura-link chip for my frontal lobe
Was deftly deflected and rendered inert,
And his AI suppository failed to insert!
My mission to Mars has prioritization,
To fend off invasive colonization
By Musk, and D.A.R.P.A. and Franken-steel,
To whose over-lord malice we'll never kneel.
Yes, my dad taught me well, your agenda, you see
Is clear as a bell and transparent to me:
Your kill-juice cocktail for world vaccination
Is no more than a weapon for depopulation.
GMO guinea pigs are who life's become,
Vaxy-jab poisons for most, but some
May receive merely saline with their nano-ID,
To become the drone-slaves of the Gates family.
You invited me here as I've come from afar,
From the system of an unpronounceable star.
Your goal: to have an experimental E.T...
Who comes from out there and looks quite like ME!"
Bill lunged with his drag-net, his shiny steel trap,
But Cootie was on it, and avoided mishap
By beaming himself to his craft, now repaired,
To head for Mars. Jacinda just stared
At her smart-phone as she gave an address
To the sheeple on how her lock-downs progress.
Bill was irate, and feeling unwell,
As he'd lost his one chance to try, do tell
His brand new GMO D.A.R.P.A. joy juice
On Earth's first E.T., who somehow got loose!
He opted instead to try it himself,
So he fired it right up, saying 'HERE'S TO HEALTH!' "
Mr. Cootie was handsomely greeted,
With a mask and some spray and some hand-sanitizer,
The mask from Monsanto and the spray from Pfizer.
"By Jove" said Jacinda, "you've no hands but six feet...
Some foot disinfectant and you'll be sweet..."
"And a jab from my vax, to make sure you stay well,
You won't feel a thing, and it probably won't swell...
The Pope's coming soon, we must confess,
We'll hand out some towels, it could be a mess!
'Don't Covid thy neighbour's wife', he said,
'And if you don't take the jab you're as good as dead!'
Bill rose from his chair, oozing ecto-chagrin,
"Mr. Cootie, Jacinda, now let us begin...
It's come to our attention that you're not from here,
Mr. Cootie, your home, is it far or near?"
"I come from a planet, a star far away,
In a distant galaxy like your Milky Way.
A world of oceans and whales, and guess what?
You call her Andromeda, but the strain I am not."
But they'd seen the movie and read the book,
And hypochondriacally started feeling quite crook.
Jacinda said 'Let's impose a lock-down',
And Bill said "Let's pass the vax-jabs around!"
"Now hold it right there! Let me give you the facts.
I guess you should know I'm the Son of Lorax.
My dear darling dad came to Earth long ago
A Truffula-tree perma-culture forest to grow...
But Gates clan ancestors chopped them all down but one,
Left to try to survive in the hot desert sun.
Like my dad, they're from Thalion in the Arcturan system,
And when they were gone all the folks really missed 'em!
We've no chip on our shoulders, nor axes to grind.
Au contraire, we're forgiving, and besides you will find
That the steps we have taken since our Truffula demise
Have helped to make Mother Earth healthy and wise.
Wealthy's for you, if you know what I mean.
Your philanthrogenics has yet to be seen
To be anything more than a global blight,
A rich-man's conspiracy-parasite.
I'll pass on the jab, but thanks just the same.
As you may suspect, I'm aware of your game.
My dad taught me well, and his Truffula-love
Lives on through me, yes, I've come from above.
My craft was shot down by Elon's space probe,
And a neura-link chip for my frontal lobe
Was deftly deflected and rendered inert,
And his AI suppository failed to insert!
My mission to Mars has prioritization,
To fend off invasive colonization
By Musk, and D.A.R.P.A. and Franken-steel,
To whose over-lord malice we'll never kneel.
Yes, my dad taught me well, your agenda, you see
Is clear as a bell and transparent to me:
Your kill-juice cocktail for world vaccination
Is no more than a weapon for depopulation.
GMO guinea pigs are who life's become,
Vaxy-jab poisons for most, but some
May receive merely saline with their nano-ID,
To become the drone-slaves of the Gates family.
You invited me here as I've come from afar,
From the system of an unpronounceable star.
Your goal: to have an experimental E.T...
Who comes from out there and looks quite like ME!"
Bill lunged with his drag-net, his shiny steel trap,
But Cootie was on it, and avoided mishap
By beaming himself to his craft, now repaired,
To head for Mars. Jacinda just stared
At her smart-phone as she gave an address
To the sheeple on how her lock-downs progress.
Bill was irate, and feeling unwell,
As he'd lost his one chance to try, do tell
His brand new GMO D.A.R.P.A. joy juice
On Earth's first E.T., who somehow got loose!
He opted instead to try it himself,
So he fired it right up, saying 'HERE'S TO HEALTH!' "
(to be continued...)
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